Another Rainy Day

Anthony Dauer

why is it that my mood matches the weather
charcoal massed clouds weigh heavy until
their burden is loosed and with it, mine
my pulse slows to normal, leaving my chest
less tight, less constricted
freed, my heart beats within it's cage of flesh
exhaustion soon follows the struggle's end
as if I had fought for something, a battle, but
it's not tangible to my mind, just my spirit
I know, but I do not truly know what it is
that weighed so heavily upon me
something that lurks in the corner
and as the sun sets it follows the shadows
from the darker edges, I can feel it's grip
tangible once more in the form of tiny pains
in my joints, my bones, and in strained muscle
the unrest that comes with it is too much
sleep ... wake ... go ... stay ... I cannot
or I will not, decide which is what I want
or which is what I actually require
my desires frustrated
my will gone, lost
within the melancholy
of another rainy day

The 2River View, 1_4 (Summer 1997)